Codependency

Codependency Therapy
I offer a sanctuary for healing 
You can find your voice and expression in the world
Codependency Therapy
I offer a sanctuary for healing 
You can find your voice and expression in the world

What is Codependency?

You probably have some inkling that things are off balance in your relationships. Do you find yourself giving and giving? Perhaps you feel hurt and silently resentful that no one in your life reciprocates.

A way to describe this kind of one-sided relationship is Codependency.

What is Codependency?

You probably have some inkling that things are off balance in your relationships. Do you find yourself giving and giving? Perhaps you feel hurt and silently resentful that no one in your life reciprocates.

A way to describe this kind of one-sided relationship is Codependency.

Codependency is a term that means putting aside your needs in order to try to meet the needs of others.

“We attempted to use others – our mates, friends, and even our children, as our sole source of identity, value and well being, and as a way of trying to restore within us the emotional losses from our childhoods. Our histories may include other powerful addictions which at times we have used to cope with our codependence.

~ Quoted from CoDA. org

Codependency Signs & Symptoms

Some Codependency Signs & Symptoms include:

  • A deep belief that you are either not good enough, not deserving, have no value or are unloveable.
  • Feeling responsible for others and guilty when you do something for yourself.
  • A persistent anxiety about being perfect and being judged by others.
  • An unrelenting fear of saying no; stating your opinions, thoughts or feelings.
  • Difficulty making decisions.

Codependency naturally arises if you grew up or live with family members that abuse alcohol or drugs. It also develops in an emotionally repressed family, or when a family member is overly self involved. Additionally it can stem from being abused, or living with the presence of mental or physical illness.

You can look at a family as a type of system. Systems have a natural tendency towards balance. For example, if I eat a lot of sugar, I will naturally drink more water. In a family, if one member is irresponsible, someone else will become overly responsible.

Codependency is a natural balancing which happens in a family system. You are not bad, broken, or worthless. At your own expense, you did everything you could to stabilize your family.

Codependency Signs & Symptoms

Some Codependency Signs & Symptoms include:

  • A deep belief that you are either not good enough, not deserving, have no value or are unloveable.
  • Feeling responsible for others and guilty when you do something for yourself.
  • A persistent anxiety about being perfect and being judged by others.
  • An unrelenting fear of saying no; stating your opinions, thoughts or feelings.
  • Difficulty making decisions.

Codependency naturally arises if you grew up or live with family members that abuse alcohol or drugs. It also develops in an emotionally repressed family, or when a family member is overly self involved. Additionally it can stem from being abused, or living with the presence of mental or physical illness.

You can look at a family as a type of system. Systems have a natural tendency towards balance. For example, if I eat a lot of sugar, I will naturally drink more water. In a family, if one member is irresponsible, someone else will become overly responsible.

Codependency is a natural balancing which happens in a family system. You are not bad, broken, or worthless. At your own expense, you did everything you could to stabilize your family.

Codependent Relationships

Some clues you’re in a Codependent Relationship include:

  • The other person always has priority
  • Keeping quiet to avoid conflict
  • Easily feeling rejected
  • Staying because you feel needed
  • Fear of being left or abandoned
  • Feeling deeply alone, perhaps more so around others.

Codependent Relationships

Some clues you’re in a Codependent Relationship include:

  • The other person always has priority
  • Keeping quiet to avoid conflict
  • Easily feeling rejected
  • Staying because you feel needed
  • Fear of being left or abandoned
  • Feeling deeply alone, perhaps more so around others.
You may not control all the events that happen to you but you can decide not to be reduced by them.Maya Angelou

Codependency Recovery

You developed skills to be very sensitive and observant of other people. The good news is these abilities can be redirected to benefit you.  I’m guessing you have high expectations of yourself and are a hard worker.  Imagine putting all that energy you spend trying to help or appease others into you!

Together you can learn to:

  • Tune into yourself and become aware of your feelings, thoughts and actions.
  • Treat yourself the way you would a best friend.
  • Develop and increase your support system with reciprocal relationships.
  • Broaden your interests and follow your passions.
  • Stay mostly in the present moment; savoring the details and richness of life.

Codependency Recovery

You developed skills to be very sensitive and observant of other people. The good news is these abilities can be redirected to benefit you.  I’m guessing you have high expectations of yourself and are a hard worker.  Imagine putting all that energy you spend trying to help or appease others into you!

Together you can learn to:

  • Tune into yourself and become aware of your feelings, thoughts and actions.
  • Treat yourself the way you would a best friend.
  • Develop and increase your support system with reciprocal relationships.
  • Broaden your interests and follow your passions.
  • Stay mostly in the present moment; savoring the details and richness of life.

Codependency Recovery

You developed skills to be very sensitive and observant of other people. The good news is these abilities can be redirected to benefit you.  I’m guessing you have high expectations of yourself and are a hard worker.

Imagine putting all that energy you spend trying to help or appease others into you!

Together, you can learn to:

  • Tune into yourself and become aware of your feelings, thoughts and actions.
  • Treat yourself the way you would a best friend.
  • Develop and increase your support system with reciprocal relationships.
  • Broaden your interests and follow your passions.
  • Stay mostly in the present moment; savoring the details and richness of life.

My Experience with Codependency

I have both a professional and personal understanding of codependency.  I am a Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor and studied family systems. I also have a visceral understanding of what it is like to turn away from my inner voice.  Like you, I gave up on my passions and dreams without even noticing. I became exhausted from trying to hold someone else’s world together.

When all avenues lead to the same dead end, I turned to myself and saw how I had been treating myself.  I realized I could choose a different road, I could be a friend to myself, and that I alone held the responsibility for my life.  Little by little, day by day, I chose to walk on that new path.  Most days I don’t have to think about it anymore. I still strive to do my best.  My goals are mine alone and what I reach for is attainable. I’m happy to be perfectly me, as I am right now, growing and evolving.

Your life journey is uniquely yours.  Together we’ll find which paths best suit you. My purpose is to guide, assist and applaud you along the way.

I offer you unwavering support and encouragement to unfurl into your true self.

My Experience with Codependency

I have both a professional and personal understanding of codependency.  I am a Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor and studied family systems. I also have a visceral understanding of what it is like to turn away from my inner voice.  Like you, I gave up on my passions and dreams without even noticing. I became exhausted from trying to hold someone else’s world together.

When all avenues lead to the same dead end, I turned to myself and saw how I had been treating myself.  I realized I could choose a different road, I could be a friend to myself, and that I alone held the responsibility for my life.  Little by little, day by day, I chose to walk on that new path.  Most days I don’t have to think about it anymore. I still strive to do my best.  My goals are mine alone and what I reach for is attainable. I’m happy to be perfectly me, as I am right now, growing and evolving.

Your life journey is uniquely yours.  My purpose is to guide, assist and applaud you along the way. Together, we’ll find which paths best suit you.

I offer you unwavering support and encouragement to unfurl into your true self.

Codependency Books & Resources

BOOKS

Melody Beattie:
Codependent No More
Language of Letting Go
The New Codependency
Breaking Free

Pia Melody:
Facing Codependency
Facing Love Addiction

Janet Woititz:
Adult Children of Alcoholics

Robin Norwood:
Women Who Love too Much

Janet Elizabeth Menter:
You’re Not Crazy – You’re Codependent

Codependency Books & Resources

BOOKS

Melody Beattie:
Codependent No More
Language of Letting Go
The New Codependency
Breaking Free

Pia Melody:
Facing Codependency
Facing Love Addiction

Janet Woititz:
Adult Children of Alcoholics

Robin Norwood:
Women Who Love too Much

Janet Elizabeth Menter:
You’re Not Crazy – You’re Codependent

 I CAN HEAL  .  I CAN THRIVE

Click EMAIL or call (503) 334-5492
for a Complimentary Meeting.

I CAN HEAL

I CAN THRIVE

Click EMAIL or call 503.334.5492 for a Complimentary Meeting.